Gwyneth Paltrow Revolutionized Conscious Communication Is It Worth It?

by | Apr 20, 2023

Conscious Communication

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s separation birthed conscious communication and because of that the conversation started about how we deal with our own relationships.  It is not always easy to be completely aware when we communicate with others. Speaking honestly, listening deeply, and navigating the inevitable twists and turns of a conversation all require a high degree of self-awareness. Whether one’s aim is strategic (to achieve a certain end) or relational (to connect), communication involves a meaningful exchange that leads to understanding.  There are three important ingredients to master conscious communication: to be present, to come from curiosity and care, to say what we want.

Gwyneth Paltrow for Getty Images

Leading with presence is a fundamental practice to conscious communication. If we are not aware we may end u running on automatically or consumed by an inner narrative of judgements, criticism, mind wandering. Mindful communication asks of us to be present, to be mindfully embodied in the conversation, to observe ourselves. That will allow us to choose when to speak and when to listen. After all, the conversation is a dynamic interplay between each person’s choice to speak or listen. The more we are aware of ourselves, the more we are aware of the other we speak to. In other words, presence opens the door to mutuality.

Coming from curiosity is probably the hardest of all. Our intention can determine the whole tone and trajectory of dialogue, the motivation behind our words, and, sadly, rarer than often, our intention is far from this. Where are we coming from?  Which strategies are we using? Do we tend to avoid conflict?

Do we want to win an argument, being right is more important than understanding the other’s perspectives? Or are we passive-aggressive, meaning we express our displeasure about a situation in an indirect way?
Do you manipulate, meaning you intentionally on unintentionally ask questions or say things, with an answer or response in mind? Recognizing our patterns in conflicts is the first step to transforming them. Mindfulness can allow us to choose a different course of action when in conflict.

However, to fully understand our strategies, and to have the tools to change them, there is something primal and fundamentally human that we need to acknowledge, that is, our needs. All our actions are motivated by an intrinsic need. When we finally choose to come from curiosity and care, we have to be willing to learn about our needs. So let’s ask ourselves: What do we want the other person to do? And, “What do I want their reasons to be for doing it?”

Image Source: Collectively Free

 

Identifying our needs and developing a balanced relationship with them form the groundwork for being able to express ourselves and engage effectively in dialogue. At the same time, identifying others’ needs allows us to make heartfelt connections across differences.

When we become aware of our needs our hearts opens; something will soften inside as we understand intuitively what matters to someone else. Needs are universal, they connect us. Becoming conscious of them can help us evaluate our actions and strategies of communication, and make different choices: transform patterns of blame and judgement into understanding each other; finally, they prompt us to collaborate, if both share each other’s needs, it can bring the opportunity to find solutions together.

Identifying the needs can be quite triggering. When conditions are not met, emotions arise. Unpleasant ones can lead us to the either reactive expression of a feeling or suppression of it. Either way, harm is made. Emotions can be potent, blinding us; at times, they can get the better of us. If on the other hand, we suppress them, we lose touch with ourselves.

Emotional recognition (observation, mindfulness), being aware of what we are feeling, naming them, and understanding where is it revealing itself in our body. That will help us to regulate our emotions, balance them, and, more importantly, take responsibility for them by connecting them with underlying needs or values, and not blaming others for that.

And now, after all this, self-expression: how do we say what you mean? Stating clearly what happened (being as objective as possible), without judgement or evaluation, makes it easier for someone to hear us and to work toward a solution. The clearer we are about what we want and why the more creative we can be about how to make it happen.

In sum, the key principle of conscious communication is making it as easy as possible for another person to meet your need by asking for the specific behaviour that would fulfil it, without demanding, judging, or blaming.  Intimacy is born in conflict. Differences can bring us together and help us know one another. Friction can be creative and synergistic, leading to new ideas and perspectives. These kinds of conversations are characterized by very different intentions than our unconscious communication behaviour. Let’s understand each other.

Article by: Mariana Henriques Martins

You Might Also Like

My Sundaze Andre Luis Brunelli

by | Jan 27, 2024 | Celebrity,Featured,Home,SUNDAZE | 0 Comments

Name  Andre Luis Brunelli Occupation  Actor / Model Short Bio  André Luis Brunelli, a Brazilian-born sensation who is taking the American entertainment industry by...

Women In Media Holiday Toast Shines Spotlight On Entertainment Trailblazers

by | Jan 3, 2024 | Celebrity,Culture,Featured,Home,Lifestyle | 0 Comments

The glitz and glamour of Hollywood converged with a celebration of empowerment at the Women In Media HolidayToast 2023 fundraiser. The annual tribute brought together...

Actress Aliyah Turner on Joining Starz’s Power Book III: Raising Kanan

by | Dec 18, 2023 | Celebrity,Culture,Featured,Home | 0 Comments

Actress on the rise Aliyah Turner has paved a way for herself by making her debut feature in “Unsolved: The Murders of Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G” and then securing...

Holiday Beverage Spotlight 2023 

by | Dec 18, 2023 | Culture,Events,Featured,Home,Lifestyle | 0 Comments

From Party Punch to Ultra Premium Tequila, to Non Alcoholic Premium Cocktails to Premium Canned Proseccos, we have all of your entertaining needs covered. A Tequila...

Vaping to Quit Cigarettes? Why You Should Use Nicotine Pouches Instead

Vaping to Quit Cigarettes? Why You Should Use Nicotine Pouches Instead

by | Dec 8, 2023 | Culture,Home,Lifestyle | 0 Comments

It’s no secret that smoking does kill, and while a majority of people struggle in going cold-turkey, it’s been shown that it can be difficult to quit. Research has...

Passion Tree Unveils First-Ever Mini Hard Seltzer, Now Available Target: A Game-Changer for Moderate Drinking Trends

by | Nov 7, 2023 | Culture,Events,Featured,Home,Lifestyle | 0 Comments

In a world where excessive alcohol consumption can lead to severe health issues, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive...

Behind the Velvet Rope: Meet WTB Agency, LA’s Latest Creative Powerhouse

by | Nov 3, 2023 | Celebrity,Featured,Home,Lifestyle | 0 Comments

In the ever-evolving realm of event production and experiential marketing, where creativity and innovation take center stage, the narrative of WTB Agency serves as a...

Help Your Body, Help Itself With Skin Moderne

by | Nov 3, 2023 | Featured,Home,Lifestyle | 0 Comments

For thousands of years the search for the mythical fountain of youth has plagued man-kind and the inevitable aging. The many tales of Herodotus and Ponce de Leon...

GLSEN Rise Up LA Gala Celebrates LGBTQ+ Community With Star-Studded Event At NeueHouse Hollywood

by | Nov 1, 2023 | Culture,Events,Featured,Home | 0 Comments

 GLSEN, the leading education organization dedicated to creating safe and inclusive K-12 schools for LGBTQ+ youth celebrated another year of their wildly successful...